I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
