I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
