weddingsv make me drug and hornr
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
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Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
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you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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