I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize