ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
