i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
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but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
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I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
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