Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
