the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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