why didn't you poke me back
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
We left an ass print on the piano.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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