I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
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