Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
