So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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