I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
