Fuck appropriateness.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
