just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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