I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
