But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Randomize
