my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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