I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
