never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
