We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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