Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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