Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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