Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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