what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
