just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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