I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize