If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I intend to get homeless drunk
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
