i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
