ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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