We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
