He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Randomize
