covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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