Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
