you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Randomize
