just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
