Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
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I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
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hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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