just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
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But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
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I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
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