508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
