You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
