he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
