Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
