yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
