I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
