I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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