Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
How does one acquire holy water?
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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