There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
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I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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