You really coming over, don't trick.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
