Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
