i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize