I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
My balls are so social today.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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