Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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