I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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