Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
