My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
dude. I can hear the air.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
