i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
