So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Green mimosas i think yes
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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