I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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