I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
