i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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