one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
