my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I could have mohawked her pubes.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
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