Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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