i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
