that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Pants 0. Shit 1.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
