Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I just found a bag of teeth...
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
